I published a new book on March 21st 2020. It’s called Design Your Mind to be Kind. I wrote a letter that readers would pen once they get to the end of the book realizing what I call, “seeing their higher selves appear”. By the end of the book, readers tap into their higher selves, beyond the ego, with their authenticity breaking free from egos wall. If you’d like a copy of the book, there’s a link at the end. Enjoy the journey.

Dear me,

I wish to share my soul with you. Thank you for teaching me how to lead a healthier, happier life, living fully in the moments, not letting them pass, and embracing them as cherished and counted.

Learning from my past and not repeating mistakes that I’ve made is the only way I’m going to learn. I have to apply what I’ve read and make sure I’m held accountable for it all.

If I want a great relationship with anyone, I’m going to have to speak my truth. If I feel something, I’m going to create a healthy path to share it kindly, directly and thoughtfully.

I’m done with assuming. I want to build relationships based on truth and communication, trust and empathy, compassion and reality, not the BS stories that I’ve been telling myself and believing. I’ve had enough of my ego. Open communication is the only way to build a foundation because when things are unsaid, there is a sense of loss, and breakdowns will spiral and continue to spiral because of pride and ego that get in the way. My time is valuable and my energy yearns to be connected to positivity.

I care about myself and my relationships. I want joy and I want to feel grateful for the moments that I live in my life and want to stand beside myself as I focus on personal development, as well as standing for the people in my relationships as I stand for what we have, for what I have and for my value in life.

First, I want to say I’m sorry for the hot and cold behavior, anytime that I’ve ever been a real a**hole. I apologize for the damaging words and actions that I’ve used in the past. I was never aware that I was doing them all and I see now that they were quite hurtful. I was expressing anger and toxic patterns and I repeated them and it hurt relationships. The damage that I created caused me to make a shift in my life and to catch myself to work on it. I want to work on all of it, for the better me, and for the best people in my life.

Toxic patterns and behaviors need to be fixed in real time. I get this now and I wasn’t sure why I didn’t get it before but I understand it. I don’t want to judge or feel judged anymore when things go wrong. I want to lovingly talk about my “stuff” in real time, with calm energy to diffuse it all and move forward happier and healthier.

Sometimes we don’t notice that our actions hurt another person until we’re called out on it. This book helped me see it all. It was my coach. My cold behavior makes others feel bad. It became a chore of theirs to put up with and I now realize that hurtful patterns are so detrimental. I’ll work on it.

Hot and cold behaviors cause inconsistency in relationships which are harsh and produce long term icky results that create a rift in between people. Any wedge that gets placed in between two or more people because of dramatic BS- especially wedged between people that once shared a close relationship, those boulders need to be accounted for because they will get bigger and bigger as the hot and cold behavior continues. Toxidity will never go away unless it’s spoken about, understood, corrected and diffused lovingly. So much confusion happens with that and I’m sorry.

Up and down behavior in relationships cause detrimental shifts that can rip apart couples, friends and people who once liked each other, including work relationships. Unsaid words and inconsistency in behaviors and attitudes are damaging. I want to move forward with more of an open dialogue about it all in real time.

Using excuses or repeated sayings like “It is what it is” is not healthy. It’s such a disgusting excuse for acting inappropriately and then creating a saying to cover it up with sugar. I get it now, I really do. I’m responsible for my past behaviors and patterns and realize that there’s no way out of them. I’m going to begin to apologize and work on my flaws in real time openly, kindly, thoughtfully and calmly.

If I want to commit, I have to commit. If I don’t want to, I must make that choice, but I can’t be in and out, hot and cold because what we resist persists and what will persist is the failure to kindly communicate and breakdowns occur as a result. I’ll see this in my jobs and my life relationships and work on it all.

Vulnerability is an opportunity for all of us to touch our own souls in the moment. Intimacy with the self is wonderful. It’s so scary to me, but I’m learning how to do it and it’s helping me become a better lover, a better person, a wiser adult and a stronger communicator. Words take on meanings and I want to create the kindest ways of communication to help my relationships grow. It will bring breath and balance to my life as I become intertwined with others. I realize that my self-worth is reflected in my great and not-so-great moments, so owning makes me want to be a better person. It’s so freeing and I’m beginning to enjoy that feeling.

I’m going to start matching my actions with my words. This ties into hot and cold behavior because I won’s say one thing and mean another. It’s a flaw and a fault of mine and I want to acknowledge it and work on it. It’s a habit, it’s from my past and as I read, “The wake doesn’t drive the boat.” What’s in the past must be kept in the past, not allowing it to run or ruin lives it the present or future. I want to understand the past, work through it and keep moving forward with kindness.

Change is among us all. We must learn about any hurtful behaviors so that we can become accountable for them and make every moment matter more. That’s the healthier way to live.

I say the above with love. I say it with respect to myself and I say it because I believe in my relationships. Half way in- is never fun for anyone and I understand that now. I want to live fully for myself and for others and in that process, I will be the best person I can be.

That said, this is all an out of the ordinary experience for me to feel and speak so openly and lovingly because I’ve been embarrassed of my flaws for practically my entire life, so today, I hold out my hand to thank myself, and for all of us to somehow grow within this experience for the better us that lives inside and wants to come out. (pun intended.)

I hope that this letter brings you a moment of solace to think about your patterns.

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If you are interested in reading the book, you can buy a signed copy or 2 or 5 here. If you want to get coached on any of your patterns, now’s a great time to wake up the better you that lives inside of your heart, no matter what age, where you live, or what title you have. Your relationship with yourself and others is counting on it. Click here for a special package offered.

YOU MATTER. HOW YOU SHOW UP MATTERS. Now’s a great time to realize that

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