The New Way to Face Failure
Oh my word! Did I just say the words “a new way to failure?” I did! Does that mean we’ve been looking at it all wrong for a while? Perhaps. Here’s the scoop:
The painstakingly humbling, shocking, embarrassment and arrogance in all of us knowing that we beat ourselves up when things don’t go right is something we must address as leaders in 2019.
I will tell you that one of the greatest secrets to facing the fall is to find the gratifying experience in the tumble. I often don’t like to use the word failure at all. But since it’s a part of business coaching and consulting, the word “has” to come up, so let’s use it today, just as a reference, but for future, I use the word lessons instead. I like changing words- not because they’re too hard to face, but I do it in an effort to instill positivity and perseverance inside each conversation and coaching experience as much as I can. The mind is very intelligent and moods can turn quickly with the slightest triggers of words. Anywho… let’s move on…
When you’re looking to gain greater commitment to this life, you must enjoy the fall. Like the photo below, lightbulbs crack and when the light goes out, we have a choice to get upset or simply change the bulb.
Terrible things happen in business and life. I’m talking some really terrible stuff- and we’re not equipped as humans to handle it all. Our nervous systems freak out, take our breath away, demand our minds to use words unwillingly, and then words come flying out of our mouth before we think about them and KABOOM! Relationships and deals, projects and meetings then can either be ruined or improved – if we are at our core level or not, acting with integrity or reacting with hands waving and voices very very loud- demeaning voices.
We can all grow from the lowest place to the highest place. We simply need to water the seeds of ego, shame and vulnerability and find a place in that soil of our minds that will be fresh in the morning, and not feeling the need to be right or to hide from the falls. Embarrassment can be fun. I will teach you if you let me.
I often use the phrase, “Speak your truth.” Truth is nothing more than a reality. We must live in our realities and realities handle a challenge and a hurdle with grace- sometimes the best courage comes from facing a reality. The more capable you can become at going through a tactical process when a fall comes, the more personal evolution you create and achieve and your greatness level rises.
When we think and reflect on our circumstances, we direct our personal greatness towards an uprise. It is when we don’t think- when our nervous system goes into haywire mode and we freak when the challenge hits- that’s the real failure, folks. When you can’t handle the tough stuff that life throws at you, that’s when the real failure shows up and you can hardly look at yourself in the mirror because of how you acted or reacted or what you said.
But this is all fixable! You see? This is where the glory comes in, comes barging in actually, comes shining in like the north star or the sun rising, directing your life because you have the power of choice in every situation, even after the fall. Do I go after the things I want in life- to be a better person and handle my chaos with grace, or do I sit on the sidelines in a mediocre place hiding in shame, needing to be right because my ego tells me to be- and my nervous system is wearing the boss cap? Take a deep breath with me now because I know you’ve been here. That’s a deep deep place. I know many people who are severely hurting inside and when prompted, they say, “I’m fine.” Personal little white lies… My heart breaks for them.
It’s when we look at it all, in our truth; our reality. It is when we allow ourselves to be free- and wrong, weak and scared. When we healthily sit in the vulnerability of it all without feeling as bad as we thought we would. That’s where the learning comes. That’s when the objectivity hits its peak and you begin to understand the idea of making this a lifestyle. Lessen the impact of the meteorite and soften that landing to a place where the failure comes, you recognize it, smile at it, breathe and then mosey on down the hall.
I’m telling you. It can happen. I was the jerk. I was the reactor! I’ve done the work. It’s taken me a few years, no many!, but now I get to teach my clients my wisdom and experience – especially from a business perspective- from meetings to partnerships, employees, teams and CEOs and bosses- the way they speak to their best people. I handle it all and it’s a miraculous experience.
The world is ready to light up for you- are you ready to fail with me?
Let’s do it together. Why not! I’ll tell you mine, if you tell me yours… failures that is… Call me!
Elizabeth Barry is a leading business consultant for individuals, businesses and organizations going through change. From senior executives to directors, her inspirational approach will add a powerful skip in your step, as your leadership swagger cascades to your teams. From tactical tips to intelligent analogies, The Elizabeth Barry effect is clear communication. From profit to happiness, to new leadership mentalities, hire Elizabeth Barry to coach you or your senior leadership team- as well as the teams below them to create kinder, more effective day to day business deals. Happy, healthy adults. That’s what it comes down to.
Elizabeth is a self-published author of Own Your Vulnerability and to come in winter 2018, The Kind Communicator, with 5 more books to come in 2019. www.elizabethbarryconsulting.com. Follow Elizabeth on LinkedIn for articles and inspiration.